I won’t last long, can’t go on, not like this. I don’t want to. I do want to live, but the existence I find myself in is frequently hellish, not the beautiful life my heart knows is possible.
Exhale.
Clean. Drink water. Come on girl, get up, rise, clean your room, wash your face, put on a smile, and model what it means to be present, whole, self-content; and also curious, compassionate, and courageous. Courage. Curiosity. More of this. Do it for you. You deserve everything good.
Let go of the old identity. Let go of needing to know, needing the story to be true, needing to understand what you are incapable of understanding. Surrender to loving. Surrender to making the most of everything. Surrender to doing the best you can. Surrender to loving yourself anyway.
You are yours, and you only owe yourself your self. Unskin, undress, uncover, and dance forward, sing forward, love forward.
In two days it is the first day of fall. Autumn. The equinox. A week later, harvest moon. I am due for soaking, and if possible a road trip. Had one in the works but it didn’t work out. Not yet. I think it probably will.
I step out of my name, out of my familiar skin, out of my identity, who I think I am, who I think I have been, who I think I can or could or will become.
I am the ‘ing’ and the ‘ism’. I am a tiny shiny speck of The Great Mysterious Everything.
I have carried several names, and every one of them has served me very well. Now I peel them away, and let them own themselves as well.
~ZGALA, September 21, 2023
nmgal007 ~Angel Lilly, Performance Poet, Speaker, Songwriter, Singer 